Ms. Adams accuses Facebook of including games like Bejeweled Blitz and Pathwords on its site as a cover to emit crack fumes therefore rendering users unable to click off of the site.
"I was ignoring my family. I was wearing dirty clothes. I couldn't get enough. My life was falling apart! It wasn't until my dog licked the computer screen showing Facebook and I noticed her madly dash in circles chasing her tail did I realize drugs were involved."
Facebook sources refuse to comment on Ms. Adams' accusations, but say Facebook works hard to promote a clean and healthy environment for its users as evidenced by their diligent effort to prevent photos of mothers nursing babies from soiling their pages.
The dog was quoted as saying, "dude."